I'm more Manly than you...

I had a discovery moment with myself this morning. Actually it wasn't just me. But also with two guys in a red Mazda Miata...top down, tanned shaved heads, aviators, Express Men paisley shirts (top two buttons unbuttoned, mind you) and an odd staredown I can only describe as a battle of manliness. You see...I was in my Mini...my minivan, that is...and he was staring me down like, "Dude, nice van..." Oddly though, I was giving him the same stare and thinking, "Dude, get your buddy off your lap and invoke a ladies-drive-only rule!" Thus, the manliness battle begins!

Yea, yea...I drive a minivan. But honestly, I love that ride! It's got doors that open and close automatically. I don't have to help the kids get in it...kick a stool next to the door or just chuck them in by the collar...sooooo nice! I can squeal the tires, albeit, for only a second or two max. And it's a technogeek's dream with the hard drive, sat radio, DVD screens that are Pimp My Ride worthy and I can tell it what to do and it'll obey my every command..."72 degrees, AC on Biatch!!!!" Voice activation, yea!

I dunno...I felt good and manly. So when the Coppertone Dome twins were giving me the sad Dad look, I stared them back and thought:

• No man under 50 should be driving a Mazda Miata...and be happy about it.
• No man should be driving a Mazda Miata with another man - unless it's the 50 year old teaching his son to drive.
• No man should be driving a Mazda Miata in attire other than a pair of jeans, a non graphic tee, classic Wayfarers, and a full head of hair so you can actually experience that "wind blowing mane" feeling.
• Finally, No man should be driving a Mazda Miata without a Lady sitting comfortably next to him, in a sun dress, matching Wayfarers, coordinated head scarf, red lipstick and a radiating smile. Quellazaire optional.

And under my sad-dad-in-a-minivan breath, I said..."I'm more Manly than youuuuu...."